Chinese Airline…as ‘reliable’ as their other products!!!

http://www.facebook.com/v/202422017114

One Queen and the 11 US Presidents

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Organization Chart…!!!

If Columbus had been married

If Columbus had been married he might NEVER have discovered America because…

……….

..

 

 

 

..

 

 

* Where are you going?

* With whom?

* Why?

* How are you going?

* To discover what?

* Why you?

* What do I do, when you are not here?

* Can I come with you ?

* Coming back when?

* Will you have dinner at home only?

* What will you get for me?

* It seems you deliberately made this ….

* Don’t lie….

* Why r u making such programs

* You seem to be making a lot of such programs

* Why?

* I want to go to my parents’ place

* I want you to come and drop me

* I don’t want to come back…..

* I will never come back….

* Why are u not stopping me….

* I don’t understand what is this discovery chakker?

* You always do like this…..

* Last time also u did like this….

* Now-a-days u always seem to do like this….

* I still don’t understand what else remains to be discovered…

WC…

In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India . She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local Schoolmaster.
She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC..
In England , a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for ‘Water Closet’.

She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.
The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC.. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a ‘WaysideChurch’ near the house . . . a bathroom never entered their minds.
So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,
I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house.
It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays.
As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room.
This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.
It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC, as it was there, that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event.
There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angle.

My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.
You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time. I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters.

We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all, since many feel it is long needed.
I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.
With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster

The Woman never visited India !!!!

Hiroshima after Nuke Bomb…some rare snaps…

View Full Album

BEST. DANCE. EVER!!!

A song from Some B-Grade Hindi Movie…!!!

 

Readership…

The Times of India is read by people who think they run the country.
The Economic Times is read by people who think they own the country.
The Indian Express is read by people who shouldn’t run the country.
The Statesman is read by people who think they ought to run the country.
The Hindustan Times is read by people who think Delhi is a country.
The Telegraph is read by people who think Bengal is the best country.
The Malayala Manorama is read by people who think Kerala is their country, and God’s … zimble !
The Pioneer is read by people who think the Brits ran this country better.
The Saamna is read by semi-literates who think, !!+#%&, everyone should fx%k off from country.
The Femina is read by the fat wives of the rich in this country.
The Stardust is read by people who care a shit who runs the country.
The DNA is not read, but used to pack footwear by people going out of this country.

“Not my job” of the year award!

Now this is what we call as “Out of scope”…

Cats are soooo dramatic!!!

Title this picture…

Contestants from all IITs were asked to title this picture…

Study the picture for 15 seconds and think about how you’d title it…and then see the second picture that was the winning entry …

 

This winning entry came from IIT Kharagpur…

Difference between “http” & “https”

The main difference between http:// and https://... it’s all about keeping you secure.

HTTP stands for HyperText Transport Protocol, which is just a fancy way of saying it’s a protocol (a language, in a manner of speaking) for information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients.

The important thing is the letter S which makes the difference between HTTP and HTTPS. The ‘S’ stands for "Secure". If you visit a website or webpage, and look at the address in the web browser, it will likely begin with the following: http://.

This means that the website is talking to your browser using the regular ‘unsecure’ language. In other words, it is possible for someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer’s conversation with the website. If you fill out a form on the website, someone might see the information you send to that site. This is why you never ever enter your credit card number in an http website!

But, if the web address begins with https://, it basically means your computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can eavesdrop on. If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card or other confidential information, you should automatically look to see if the web address begins with https://.

If it doesn’t, there’s no way you’re going to enter sensitive information like a credit card number.

India’s First Independence Day Celebrations In Delhi 15th August 1947

 

 

View Full Album

What is that? A fantastic video…

http://www.facebook.com/v/126885707114

Made in China…!

http://www.facebook.com/v/126883332114

Charlie Chaplin in Lion’s cage…!

http://www.facebook.com/v/126882952114

The plane that never took off!!!

Just a new toy in the hands of those ill prepared who didn’t read the instruction manual. This brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, the largest passenger airplane ever built, sits just outside its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime. Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area. Then they took all four engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having Read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is.   The Takeoff Warning Horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had all four engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off, but it had not been configured properly (flaps/slats, etc..) Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air. The computers automatically released all the Brakes and set the aircraft rocketing forward. The ADAT crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can’t land with the brakes on.  Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew was smart enough to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the $200 million brand-new aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totaling it.   The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the news blackout in the major media in France and elsewhere.

Coverage of the story was deemed insulting to the Arabs.

  Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

  

Airbus $200 million aircraft meets retaining wall and the wall wins.

Hindi: Garib Essay

My PC is warm. I think our firewall is acting up!!!

This picture does not need any caption!!!

India: Now it is easier to get the blood

Now it has become easier to get the blood we need.
All you have to do is just type "BLOOD <Needed Blood Group> and send SMS to 096000 97000.

For example: "BLOOD B+"
A BLOOD DONOR WILL CALL YOU!!

Please pass on this message.

India: Fines for violation of traffic rules…please don’t pay a penny more!!!

Note : Under section 177 of Motor Vehicle Act, fine for rule violation done by Cab and Auto Rickshaw is Rs 50/- and for Other Vehicles fine is Rs 100.

List of Important Traffic Offences & Compounding Fee Charged

Sr.No.	Description of Offences	Motor Vehicle Act Sections	Compounding Fee (In Rs)
1	Parking in ‘No Parking’ Zone.	MVA – 119/177	100
2	Parking at a corner/turning.	MVA – 119/177	100
3	Double Parking of Vehicle.	MVA – 119/177	100
4	Vehicle entering in a ‘No Entry’ Zone.	MVA – 119/177	100
5	No ‘U’ Turn.	MVA – 119/177	100
6	Obstruction to other vehicle or Pedestrians.	MVA- 122/177	100
7	Driving on the wrong side.	MVA- 119/177	100
8	Overtaking a vehicle from left side.	MVA-119/177	100
9	Disobeying traffic signs or signals.	MVA-119/177	100
10	Carrying passenger on footboard.	MVA-123/177	100
11	Licence not in possession.	MVA-130/177	100
12	Owner not giving information about his / her driving License.	MVA- 133/177	100
13	Using unsafe vehicle.	MVA- 190(1)/177	100
14	Driving under influence of Alcohol.	MVA- 185(1)	Non Compoundable
15	Driving two wheeler without a Helmet	MVA- 129/177	100
16	Carrying passengers on Bonnet/Cabin/running Board.	MVA- 123(2)/177	100
17	Driving without Licence.	MVA- 3(1)/181	300
18	Giving vehicle to a person who has no driving licence.	MVA- 5/180	300
19	Rash Driving.	MVA- 184	500
20	Underage person (below 18 Yrs of age) driving geared vehicle.	MVA- 4(1)/181	300
21	Underage person (below 16 Yrs of age) driving non- geared vehicle.	MVA- 4(1)/181	300
22	Speeding or Lane cutting.	MVA- 112/183	200
23	Driving or giving out for use uninsured vehicle.	MVA- 146/196	300
24	Triple seat driving.	MVA-128	100
25	Driving or giving out for use unregistered vehicle.	MVA- 39/192	1000
26	Unauthorised transport of passengers or goods without valid permit.	MVA- 66(1)/192	Non Compoundable
27	Ignoring Traffic Officer’s Signal.	MVA- 132(1)a/179	200
28	Parking Rickshaw/Taxi not in an Authorised Rickshaw Stand.	MMVR-21(5)/177	100
29	Demanding excess Auto / Taxi meter charges.	MMVR- 21(12)/177	100
30	Auto or Taxi driver refusing to carry passenger(s) to nearby destination.	MMVR- 22(d)/177	100
31	Demanding Auto / Taxi fare beyond the Meter Charges applicable.	MMVR-21(d)/177	100
32	Dazzling/Glaring Light.	MMVR- 235/177	100
33	Illegal/Fancy Number Plate.	MMVR- 235(2)/177	100
34	Parking On Footpath.	MMVR- 237(1)/177	100
35	Auto / Taxi driver deliberately not taking the shortest route to a passenger’s destination.	MMVR- 21(8)/177	100
36	Auto / Taxi drivers soliciting passengers.	MMVR-21(13)/177	100
37	Auto / Taxi driver smoking while driving.	MMVR- 21(16)/177	100
37	Auto / Taxi driver not in uniform while driving.	MMVR- 31(1)/177	100
38	Carrying persons or articles causing obstruction to the driver’s seat.	MMVR- 23(1)/177	100
39	Blowing horn in a Silence Zone.	MMVR- 231/177	100
40	Driving Auto/Taxi without valid badge.	MMVR- 24(2)/177	100
41	Carrying Goods of more than 12 feet in height.	MMVR- 229/177	100
42	Driving heavy vehicle with Back Door or Latch Open.	MMVR- 229(2)/177	100
43	Not having Light on Number Plate	MMVR- 236(1)/177	100
44	Negligence while reversing your vehicle.	MMVR- 233/177	100
45	Filling of less petrol by Taxi/Auto driver while carrying passenger(s).	MMVR- 21(14)/177	100
46	Not keeping Auto / Taxi Clean.	MMVR- 21(29)/177	100
47	Carrying excess passengers in Auto/Taxi…	MMVR- 21(20)/177	100
48	Not having side or rear view mirror.	MMVR- 161/177	100
49	Keeping TV set or Video on Dash Board.	MMVR- 162/177	100
50	Using mobile phone while driving.	MMVR- 250(a)/177	100
51	Stopping on Zebra crossing.	MMVR- 237(1)/177	100
52	Driving without Mud Guard.	MMVR- 165/177	100
53	Driving without wiper in rainy season (3/4 Wheelers).	CMVR-101/177	100
54	Driving with worn out or torn tyres.	CMVR-94(2)/177	100
55	Driving without reflector light.	CMVR-104(1)/177	100
56	No Head/Tail Lamps.	CMVR- 105/177	100
57	Vehicle stopping without flashing parking light at night.	CMVR- 109/177	100
58	Blowing or installing of Pressure/Multisound Horn.	CMVR -119(2)/190(2)MVA	500
59	Dark tinted glasses (less than 75% Visibility from outside).	CMVR-100/177	100
60	Not displaying ‘L’ Board (Front & Rear) incase of learner’s License.	CMVR- 3(c)/177	100
61	Offence under Emission Control Act. (No PUC)	CMVR-115(2)/190(2)MVA	500
62	Parking on wrong side.	RRR-15(2)(1)/177	100
63	Parking or stopping within 10 mtrs of a Bus Stop.	RRR-15(2)(1)/177	100
64	Stopping on a Bridge.	RRR-15(2)(1)/177	100
65	Stopping within an Island.	RRR-15(2)(1)/177	100
66	Driving on wrong side.	RRR-15(2)(1)/177	100
67	Lane Cutting while driving.	RRR-18(2)/177	100
68	Ignoring rules of Road Marking or Lane Marking.	RRR-18(2)/177	100
69	Parking in front of a Gate.	RRR-15(2)(8)/177	100

CRANE/ TOWING / LIFTING CHARGES
Sr. No.	Type Of Vehicle	Lifting Charges (Rs) (Charges for ‘No Parking’ are not included)
1	Heavy Vehicle (Truck /Tanker/Trailers/Bus)	1,000
2	Light Vehicle (Car/Jeep)	200
3	Three Wheeler Vehicles	100
4	Two Wheeler Vehicles	50

This, perhaps, is the best idea for cost cutting

 

 

 

 

 

 

A very TOUCHING moment…!!!

Is proofreading a dying art??!!!

 

Man Kills Self before Shooting Wife and Daughter
 
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.  
 

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
 
No, really? Ya think?
 
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
 
Now that’s taking things a bit far!
 
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
 
What a guy! 
 
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
 
 No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-sos!
 
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
 
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
 
 War Dims Hope for Peace
 
 I can see where it might have that effect!
 
 If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
 
Ya think?!
 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
 
Who would have thought!
 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
 
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?Oklahoma’s new construction program! 
 
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge
 
He probably IS the battery charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
 
Weren’t they fat enough?!
 
 
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
 
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
 

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
 
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
 
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
 

And the winner is….
 
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
 
Did I read that right? 

Outsourcing…!!!

 

Multi-tasking!!!

My goal is to be a failure…!

Love, best explained…

Love, best explained…

Most Dedicated Employee of the Year, even in the recession times!!!

Most Dedicated Employee of the Year, even in the recession times!!!